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From some of the Bungled to all you Botched out there…

From some of the Bungled to all you Botched out there…

We bring this good thing to an end this week with Brian holding down the fort in Victoria and Steve joining in by phone from Toronto. It's more of an editorial show than anything as we chat about Charlie… [more]

We Mind if this Mega movie isn’t funny. We Mind big time.

We Mind if this Mega movie isn’t funny. We Mind big time.

It's a festive atmosphere in Cynic Town this week for no other reason than it's Sunday and we get to talk about movies on the radio. We've got a review of Megamind, some news about Shane Black, Brian musing… [more]

What I Love About Terry Gilliam

What I Love About Terry Gilliam

If you've known me for a long time, you'd know that I've had a profound appreciation for Terry Gilliam for as long as I've been able to distinguish between directors. For those who've only known me as… [more]

The Warriors (1979)

The Warriors (1979)

To understand what I love so much about The Warriors is to understand what I love best about movies, TV shows and comic books. I think I was at my local double feature cinema sometime in the 90s when I… [more]

Waiting on a Friday Night for Superman

Waiting on a Friday Night for Superman

It's a bittersweet day as we bid a fond farewell to Friday Night Lights which ended its 5 season run this past week, offering Brian his best possible opportunity to say "I told you so" to Steve. For some… [more]

Top 5 Fridays | David Patrick Kelly roles

Top 5 Fridays | David Patrick Kelly roles

I don't know what has so enamored me of him lately, but I've had David Patrick Kelly on the brain. He's kind of an unassuming guy, and hasn't had a very prolific career, but his performances always bear… [more]

Captain America trailer!

I have given a name to the tingling in my toes, and it is the trailer for Captain America! fantastic setup in this trailer, although I’m hoping that they won’t for halfway through the film to unveil Cap in all his glory. All kinds of awesomeness happening here, and I’m glad to see Chris Evans had some time to mature in Hollywood a bit before taking this role.

The Captain sets sail on July 22!

The underwhelming Catherine Hardwicke

As a moviephile, nothing tests your professionalism quite like having to cut a biography about Catherine Hardwicke. I wasn’t completely familiar with her body of work until having her filmography handed to me, but there were a couple titles that stuck out in my mind and had me suspicious of what lay in store for me.

Catherine is currently touring to promote her new film, Red Riding Hood, a lycanthropic take on the fairy tale, starring Amanda Seyfried and Gary Oldman. It takes place deep in the wilderness in medieval times and was fittingly made amidst the rugged beauty of British Columbia. Bafflingly though, it was shot entirely in a sound stage, with fake trees and fake fans for a breeze. The “artistic merit” of the film is equally baffling, the performances, script and story are so subpar that it was difficult to even watch the abridged electronic press kit materials.

If that wasn’t enough to test my gag reflex, there’s the matter of her contribution to the Twilight phenomenon by directing the franchise’s first installment. I’ve actually seen the film in its entirety, so I can say with authority that it’s contribution to the dismantling of the Vampire sub-genre is without peer, for this century at least. I get the impression that she was offered the chance to act as “studio puppet” for the movie after demonstrating her ability to ape Stacey Peralta’s documentary, Dogtown & Z-Boys into the the passable, but instantly forgettable Lords of Dogtown.

These are underwhelming feats for someone with as audacious a debut film as Evan Rachel Wood’s unveiling in Thirteen. Her intense style and and raw approach to the film, along with her ability to elicit Wood’s incredible performance had so much potential. I don’t think there was ever all that much lying beneath the surface, and perhaps that’s the point. With Hardwicke, everything seems to be right on the surface, and perhaps that could be why she keeps getting work.

I remain the consummate professional though. Her bio looks great, and I even managed to stomach the comparison to John Hughes. (shudder)

I wanna rub this trailer all over me…

To borrow the expression from my esteemed colleagues is to barely do justice to how much I enjoyed screening the new trailer for Super 8. There is no limit to the magic that Spielberg and Abrams can create together, and I really dig that they’re bringing back the classic adventure with kids at the heart of the story and seeing the grown-up world through their own eyes. It’s like Goonies meets E.T. meets Close Encounters and looks totally wicked!

From some of the Bungled to all you Botched out there…

We bring this good thing to an end this week with Brian holding down the fort in Victoria and Steve joining in by phone from Toronto. It’s more of an editorial show than anything as we chat about Charlie Sheen, the Oscars, Mad Men and what this whole “Cynics on the radio” thing really means.

  1. While it might have seemed like we were doing a show about movies, TV & pop-culture, it turns out what we’ve really been doing is waiting for Two and a Half Men to be cancelled. Well…winning!
  2. Now that Steve’s in the big city, he’s treated himself with a trip to his favourite movie theatre – unfortunately he went to see I Am Number Four. Brian makes up for Steve’s poor choice though by screening Incendies and The Adjustment Bureau.
  3. We’re offered a touching and hilarious farewell by our colleagues, which leads us straight into our last word on Mad Men and the inexplicable hold it has on the viewing public.
  4. The Oscars came and went without much in the way of poetically just moments, but we put The King’s Speech success in perspective, along with a few other awards for other equally worthy films.
  5. And just when you thought it was all wrapped up, Steve has a sudden attack of diarrhea of the mouth and spouts off about his theory about the end of Shutter Island. To be honest, I lost track of time and didn’t realize we were hurtling toward the end of the show. If we’d wrapped up things the way I really wanted to, I probably would have made my final Vault pick Pump up the Volume, or maybe explained that I said “Greee-tings!” off the top of every show because of Super Troopers. This is the kind of chaos that transpires when we aren’t both in the studio. Alas, our perfect final show will have to remain a figment of my imagination.

Can’t believe this is the last one of these I’ll be writing for a while. I’ve got some sweet ideas cooked up for some “regular” blog posts, but I think that’s gonna have to wait until I get some kind of new writing zone, other than the subway. Infinite thanks go out to Brian for everything. I couldn’t have done this show with anyone else and he gets full props for putting up with my prima donna movie grandstanding.

Bad Teacher trailer

It’s like a healthy mix of School of Rock and Bad Santa, and was likely the payback to Cameron Diaz for appearing in The Green Hornet.

The Oscars, penultimately

Yes, I recognize the futility of putting up our Oscar preview as a podcast the day after the Oscars, but this is our second last show and there is nothing we say here that doesn’t still apply. Double negatives aside, this is a great chance to talk about a lot of great films and prove that we really know what we’re talking about when we pick a winner.

  1. (0:00) After getting the usual pleasantries out of the way, we dive right in to Oscar talk by sizing up the nominees for Best Actor.
  2. (11:13) We run down the list of Best Actress nominees, followed by the Best Supporting Actor nominees.
  3. (20:51) We display some showmanship by holding off on Best Picture talk and discuss Best Supporting Actor, followed by the nominees for Best Animated Feature.
  4. (28:00) Too caught up in the moment, we skip Best Director and head straight for Best Picture and all of its 10 hopefuls.
  5. (37:52) Brian unleashes Freaks & Geeks from the Vault, followed by Steve with The Godfather Part II. For trailers, we’ve got The Hangover 2 and Bad Teacher, both with the possibility for hilarity.

And yes, for those of you following along at home, we will be shutting down our show after next week for the foreseeable future. I’m heading out to Ontario to pursue new career opportunities, but I won’t be shutting down the site and definitely won’t be calling an end to my love of movies, TV and pop-culture.

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Centurion | A Familiar Journey into Hostile Territory

Neil Marshall’s career has lead him to the middle ground between fame and cult status, somewhere in the neighbourhood of his predecessor John Carpenter. His films make use of elements of horror and the macabre and distinguish themselves with a healthy helping of strong female characters. In Centurion, his latest film, Marshall treads over familiar ground by making use of some of his trademark elements and fails to come up with anything we haven’t seen him try before.

Centurion is yet another retelling of the ill-fated campaign of the Roman Ninth Legion north of Hadrian’s wall into the forbidden lands that will one day be known as Scotland. In the year of our Lord 117, Roman soldiers are dispatched north to engage the marauding barbarians known as the Picts. When they are betrayed and almost completely wiped out by the woefully underestimated Pict army, a small band of soldiers run for their lives across the Scottish highlands while they are hunted at every turn by a soulless tracker of preternatural “Lord Baltimore” ability.

“Marshall tends to begin with a squad populated with a diverse cross-section of humanity, traps them in some kind of hostile ground, and then follows them out as they contend with insurmountable odds until there’s only one of them left.”

If it sounds like your seen this movie before, it’s probably because this is Marshall’s second Hadrian’s wall type scenario, and all of Marshall’s involve ventures into forbidden territory. Whether it’s deep within a cave, into a quarantine zone, or a farm full of werewolves, Marshall tends to begin with a squad populated with a diverse cross-section of humanity, traps them in some kind of hostile ground, and then follows them out as they contend with insurmountable odds until there’s only one of them left. And while Marshall tends to rely on clever character development in his films, in Centurion he instead decides to hang the film on the performance of leading man Michael Fassbender. This would ordinarily be a safe bet, but it plays against Marshall’s style, and the resulting torsion doesn’t generate the kind of conflict the story needs.

Elements in the film that do play to Marshall’s strengths include the same kind of anti-authoritarian/anti-establishment undertones present in all his films. The only authority figure cast in a sympathetic light eschews the trappings of power, displaying the common touch of eating, arm wrestling and brawling alongside his troops while the powers that be pull their sinister strings from a safe distance. His fondness for strong female characters is also evident in Centurion, but a combination of sloppy expository writing and an undisciplined performance from model-turned-actress Olga Kurylenko neutralizes what should have otherwise been the driving force behind this film. If you ask me, he should have held out for Rhona Mitra. I don’t know what the lukewarm reception for yet another modestly budgeted Marshall film means for the future, especially considering this movie made even less than the grossly misunderstood Doomsday. Perhaps Neil needs to retreat back into the realm of the tiny bankroll and resume the mantle of the underdog.

We Mind if this Mega movie isn’t funny. We Mind big time.

It’s a festive atmosphere in Cynic Town this week for no other reason than it’s Sunday and we get to talk about movies on the radio. We’ve got a review of Megamind, some news about Shane Black, Brian musing over TV loyalty, and even an episode of Geeking Out. The vibe is positive, but the reviews might not be, so strap yourselves in for adventure.

  1. (0:00) In the movie news department, Steve’s excited to report that Shane Black is apparently taking the reins for the third Iron Man film. This could be a big win for the franchise bringing the king of the buddy film on board.
  2. (11:27) Brian might really be losing his patience with the shows he’s watching, ’cause he’s asking Steve how far his TV show loyalty stretches. In this day and age, it ain’t far.
  3. (20:50) Megamind presents the Film Cynics with an interesting quandary: What is to be done with a comedy that isn’t funny? Many films that fail at their intended genre can spill into comedy for being laughable. But if it’s meant to be laughable and isn’t, then what?
  4. (29:36) We haven’t had much to geek out about for a long time, until now. Warner has just launched it’s new series of movie apps and to Steve it looks like this might be the future of DLC.
  5. (36:35) Steve and Brian take some familiar Vault picks, with Brian trying to redeem Will Ferrell with Anchorman and Steve sharing a proper superhero flick with Mystery Men. As for trailers, Brian’s got a good one in Apollo 18 (although he can’t help himself from mentioning Transformers 3 and ruining the moment) and Steve’s got the new trailer for Thor in all it’s godly glory.
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Top 5 Fridays :: How the ArcLight Theatres ruined movies for me

A couple weeks ago I was down in Los Angeles for a bit. In between working and enjoying the sunshine I has one task on my mind. To attend a screening at the ArcLight Hollywood, considered to be one of the top theatres in the city. Unfortunately due to poor scheduling, the only movie playing that my friend and I hadn’t seen was “No Strings Attached” so we were forced to see that. I will not give it any more service then to say it was the worst thing I have ever seen and I hope that Natalie Portman doesn’t win an Oscar for Black Swan because she released this piece of shit. It all matters people. In order to cleanse myself from that horrid experience I drove down to El Segundo before my flight left and took in a matinee of “The Mechanic” at ArcLight Beach Cities. Here are the 5 reasons why the ArcLight has ruined the movie going experience for me.

5. Caramel Corn – Thats right, the make their own Caramel Corn on site everyday. As someone who has a ridiculous sweet tooth, this was a nice change from the regular fare you can get at a movie theatre. Granted it was like 6 bucks for a fairly small container, but then how much caramel corn can you really eat? It was delicious by the way.

ArcLight Beach Cities

4. Wide-Ass Seats - As someone who spends a lot of time sitting in the dark watching images flicker across the screen, seat comfort is a big fucking deal. These seats are so big that they dont even have to flip down. They are just static. I probably could have fit two of me in one seat. Plus the armrests are double wide so you don’t have to share or take turns with your seat neighbour. Ample leg room as well. I could almost stick my feat straight out while sitting upright. SInce I am also 6’1, that means a lot. And yes, every armrest also had a cup holder.

Me about to enjoy "The Mechanic"

3. No commercials – Thats right. No commercials before the movie started, at any time. At the ArcLight Hollywood, the screen was just dark and in El Segundo the screen had a trippy hand puppet image on it. It also wasn’t blasting some out of date pseudo radio station, it just played some classic music that sounded like movie soundtracks (and knowing the ArcLight, it probably was). A very peaceful and adult way to prepare for a movie.

The Screen in El Segundo

2. Attendant attention - This is what solidified this theatre as a haven for movie fans. Before the movie started and employee entered and gave a little speech. They mentioned the name of the movie that we were seeing, then they politely told everyone to TURN OFF THEIR CELLPHONES!!!! You have no idea how happy this made me. Lately the darkness of the theatre has been consistently ruined by douches on cells. Granted the theatre wasn’t overly packed but the fact that they said this made the world for me. Then they stated that they would be waiting off to the side for the movie to get going, just to make sure that the presentation was up to ArcLight standards. Who does that anymore? It was so wonderful. Then the attendant waved his hand in the air, to signal the projectionist to start the movie. Yeah, that happened. Blew my mind.

Ugh. Yes. It was.

1. Seat Selection - This is the main reason that I wanted to go to the ArcLight. I have heard about this feature but never quite believed it. You can go online ahead of time and buy not only your ticket but you can choose where you want to sit. This is a movie lovers dream. No more arriving at the theatre 30 to 40 minutes before start time in order to get good seats. You can literally walk in as the movie is about to start and get your seats. The pressure is off and the movie going experience becomes enjoyable again. Even if you show up and purchase tickets at the box office you can pick your seat. So amazing. So genius. I wish every theatre did this. It completely raises this theatre to another level. I have made a promise to myself that every time I am in LA from now on I will go to the ArcLight at least 2 to 3 times. It is that good of an experience.

Good thing we picked our seats ahead of time

What I Love About Terry Gilliam

If you’ve known me for a long time, you’d know that I’ve had a profound appreciation for Terry Gilliam for as long as I’ve been able to distinguish between directors. For those who’ve only known me as long as I’ve been movie blogging, I suppose I come off as someone with an axe to grind, clinging to films gone by and shunning any of his new work out of spite. Well, I can think of no better forum than the LAMB’s In the Director’s Chair feature on Terry Gilliam to set the record straight about how his signature style, combined with a mythical sense of humour and infamous sense of artistic integrity have forged my favourite director.

Before I knew what steampunk was, I suppose before there was even anything called steampunk, I was already in awe of Gilliam’s unique style in artistic design. He favours richly adorned vistas shot from odd angles with wide angle lenses to create a distorted and surreal perspective of the world. The resulting look is a fertile visual landscape where the seeds of Gilliam’s imagination can take root. These seeds have sprouted into such locales as Time Bandits‘ Fortress of Ulitmate Darkness, 12 Monkeys‘ time machine, Thompson’s hotel room in the waking light of day in Fear & Loathing, the foyer of Information Retrieval in Brazil, and even Parry’s subterranean lair in The Fisher King.

It’s within these meticulously staged backdrops that fuse the magical and the mundane that the stage is set for Terry to explore the schism between reality and imagination. This theme is best exemplified in Brazil where I’ve always felt the underlying message/moral of the story is the only place a man can truly be free is in his own mind. The film’s oppressive Orwellian regime crushed everything underfoot, despite its baffling incompetence. And everywhere Sam turned, the world was closing in on him, his sole refuge was his imagination. And even when that came crashing down on him when things were at their most bleak – it’s his imagination that comes to his rescue. I think the same is true of real life; the only place you can ever be completely free is in your mind. You’re only as free as you feel.

When not seeking refuge in fantasy, Terry’s humour provides another effective tool to cope with the dreariness of reality. Perhaps its his affiliation with Monty Python, but all of his films are infused with a thick strap of humour, even when things are at their darkest. While it should go without saying that his Python films (The Holy Grail & The Life of Brian) and his subsequent “British Imagination trilogy” (Time Bandits, Brazil & The Adventures of Baron Munchausen) ought to be funny, his darker films like the apocalyptic 12 Monkeys or The Fisher King, a story about homelessness, mental illness and crippling guilt in the wake of mass murder at a upscale restaurant, both enjoy plenty of witty moments of levity, even if they are on the dark side. I think the black humour he employs is what I find particularly appealing, as he broaches serious subjects by using humour, helping a light shine in even the most bleak situation. Because at the heart of everything he does, Gilliam is an optimist – he’d have to be to continue making films in the wake of the disasters that have plagued some of his past projects, most especially The Man Who Killed Don Quixote where injuries and a flood conspired to shut down production (but not indefinitely).

But encountering this kind of drama outside the celluloid frame is nothing new to someone like Terry. His conflict with Universal Studios over the release of Brazil chronicled in “The Battle of Brazil” (which can be found in the Criterion Collection release of the film) amazed me with how he had a fierce integrity to match his irrepressibly unorthodox style. When Universal felt that Brazil’s “downer ending” wouldn’t play well in North America, they commissioned a new happy ending be edited (a version in which many of the dream sequence at the end of the film now take place in “reality”) despite Gilliam’s protests. In the end, Gilliam toured the film in its original form to Universities in the US and went so far as taking out a full page ad in Variety imploring Universal boss Sid Sheinberg to release the film as is. His victory in this battle was our victory – as can be seen if you check out the doctored version included in the Criterion release.

The greatest thing of all about Gilliam is that this isn’t even an exhaustive list. There are all kinds of reasons to explore his work, and plenty of reason to be optimistic about his future work as well. He’s taking a second bite at the Don Quixote apple with Johnny Depp on board, and perhaps seeing this through to the end will get his career back on the incredible trajectory it was on before calamity through him out of my favour back in 1999. For a man of his gifts, anything is possible.