Top 5 Fridays – Sidekicks

Ah, the trusty sidekick – always there for our favourite heroes when we need them. Since time immemorial, legendary characters like Sancho Panza and Robin (neither of whom made this list, the former because I’ve never seen a Don Quixote film, the latter because he sucks) have propped up their cohorts through thick and thin, hopefully getting them out of more trouble than they get them into. At their best, sidekicks display loyalty, determination and resourcefulness in the face of certain death and are able to lighten the mood with a little slapstick or self-depricating humour along the way. So without further ado, we are proud to present our inaugural Top 5 list of what we hope will be a weekly Top 5 Friday feature.

5. Donkey (Shrek)

For those who doubt the power of the donkey, you should keep in mind that in a movie that borrowed from just about every source it could get the rights to, Donkey is clearly an amalgam of just about every sidekick to cross the silver screen. What makes Donkey particularly special is his totally ineffectual nature from a physical perspective: All he’s really built for is moral support and comic relief. When the chips were down though, he provides Shrek with the last push he needed to marry his true love and had Shrek’s closest rival eaten alive by a dragon. Now that’s friendship!
Finest sidekick moment: Seducing a fire-breathing dragon so Shrek could sneak by and rescue the damsel in distress.

4. Walter Sobchak (The Big Lebowski)

Nobody does blustering quite like Walter Sobchak. While it remains unclear to me exactly why the two of these guys hang out at all, Walter served The Dude well by fighting off nihilists, staging a fake money drop, getting disqualified from league play, yanking an elderly cripple from his wheelchair… well, I’m not sure if Walter gets The Dude out of more trouble than he gets him into, but at least he’s around when anything crazy happens – other than the rug peeing and marmot tossing. When I think about it, The Dude seems like more of a suffering Sancho to Walter’s raving Quixote, but if Lebowski get top billing, then Sobchak has to be the sidekick. If nothing else, Walter at least means well – can he really help it if he was constructed to be The Dude’s opposite in every possible way?
Finest sidekick moment: Decimating a squad of nihilists with a bowling ball, portable stereo and his chompers.

3. Short Round (Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom)

Despite being one of the weaker films of the bunch, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom boasted one of the series’ strongest characters in Short Round. Indy’s 9 year old sidekick was a kung-fu kicking, booby trap springing getaway driver that managed to save Indy’s bacon from the supernatural on two separate occasions. His most magical feat though? Making a believer out of moviegoers who would otherwise roll their eyes at the innevitable child actor thrown into a summer blockbuster. Short Round was a total package sidekick that just happened to be bite sized. Was I the only one who thought that, as another loyal companion of Indy’s, we might have caught a glimpse of Short Round’s future when Indy held the dying Wu Han in his arms at Club Obi Wan? (“I go first, Indy!”)
Finest sidekick moment: Cold-cocking the maharaja, thereby ending Indy’s voodoo doll torture.

2. Samwise Gamgee (The Lord of the Rings)

The definitive sidekick in that he predates these other guys by decades, Samwise was always my favourite character in the books and was thankfully portrayed with sincerity by Sean Astin, a guy who I wished I was a sidekick for when he was in Goonies. For a humble gardner, he sure knows how to lay down a guilt trip: Take me with you or I’ll drown myself in the river. Sam enjoys the rare distinction of being a sidekick able to step out on his own, contending with Shelob and a whole host of orcs all by his lonesome. Even bearing “the one ring” for a short stretch, Samwise had Frodo’s back even when he didn’t want him too.
Finest sidekick moment: Carrying Frodo on his back for the last leg of their journey up Mt. Doom.

1. Chewbacca (Star Wars)

Absolutely loyal to the death, but not so sycophantic that he can’t laugh at Han every now and then, Chewbacca has always embodied the best traits of a sidekick. Women adore him, ewoks want to be him. He’s the arm tearing, Kessel running co-pilot of the coolest modified freighter in a galaxy far far away. Without having ever spoken a word of English, we got to know Chewbacca as a fierce friend of intergalactic troublemaker Han Solo, a clever mechanic and somebody you ought to lose to when you play chess. He was dangerous, but kind and not afraid to show affection – he’s a bit of a hugger. Had it not been for Han’s express instructions, he would have killed every stormtrooper in Cloud City when they froze him in carbonite. And even after that, he walked right into the lion’s den to help set him free.  Hey, the guy pretty much single-handedly hijacked an AT-ST with his bare hands/paws, that at least gets him a seat at the table. What puts him at the head of the table? Two words: Laser crossbow.
Finest sidekick moment: His howl of anguish as Han is frozen in carbonite.